Orsimer (Orcs)



== ''Orsimer, also known as "Orcs", are one of the most lamest races of the TES universe. They are basically a less-cool version of WoW Orcs, and pretty much nobody in the TES community likes them. They are the definition of wasted potential (aside from Michael Kirkbride)'' ==

HOME PROVINCE
Ah, so you want to know where the piggy-elves live?

''Nowhere.  Literally, they have no home province; they used to be a monster you could kill in TES2: Daggerfall (ah, the good old days), but times have changed, as after bribing off Angela Merkel with a new pencil brand, Orcs became an accepted people in the European Empire. They live in the edgy Wrothgarian mountains to the east, and have had their capital city ransacked more times than there are letters in this wiki article. Merely bringing up their home is an insult to my Godly nature, and I feel quite ill just thinking about how much they suck in this Fantasy universe. Pathetic.''

ORSIMER RELIGION
''So basically, Orcs worship the Daedric Prince Malacath. However, brace yourself for a kek as you learn how this came to be.''

''Essentially, Boethia ate a powerful Elven superman known as Trinimac. After taking a magnificent dump, out came Malacath, and his followers were corrupted into the green little piggies we all know and hate today.''

That's right: Orcs worship poop.

ON AN END NOTE
''To be fair, it's not like Bethesda planned for them to be bad. As mentioned earlier, they were only added recently as a playable race in Morrowind, and so the decision to write lore for originally a monster race was not exactly a masterful execution. Still, they suck.''

''Funny enough, TES Orcs are pretty much the lamest out of WoW, 40k, Warhammer Fantasy, and LotR Orcs, which is pretty sad. ''

I guess the moral of this lore story is to not make a race that worships poop...?